I praise God today because

I praise God today because once again He has granted me grace and mercy to have another day with my family and friends and to belong to Him. I love Him so much and yet I know it's just a small amount of love compared to how He feels about me. I am constantly amazed at His grace. So much stuff goes on in life that sometimes we get side tracked and forget or take for granted God's goodness. I just praise Him today because He loves me so much, even when I get busy or side tracked, He loves me! Thank you Father for your mercy and grace, for knowing what our life is to be before we even know and for loving me more than I can imagine! I praise God today because.....(now it's your turn to fill in the blank!)

Tuesday of Praise

Today I praise God for His goodness and His pefect way of working things out. We have been in a sea of confusion in dealing with Autism. We felt like we were fighting a battle we couldn't win. There is so much information out there about Autism, that sometimes it can be confusing. But today I was able to find my way out of some of that confusion. And I totally praise God for helping us and leading us in the right direction to get answers that we need for Seth!

The Usefulness of Broken Things

Well, it's been another whirlwind of a week. Seth had several therapy evaulations and all went well and once we get Medicaid on board he will be getting services weekly. I've tried some of the techniques I learned from reading a new book and there has been a positive change in some of Seth's behavior! Praise the Lord for that!

On Tuesday we went down for Seth's Occupational Therapy evaluation. He went through several tests, lacing cards, cutting with scissors, folding paper, stacking blocks, (which he did perfectly! another victory because usually he just lines them up!) and drawing. As the Occupational Therapist was working with his drawing she kept giving him crayons, both whole crayons and broken ones. Seth didn't care he used them just the same. I thought it was odd, but was certain that this professional knew what she was doing so I just silently observed. After his evaulation she was reviewing the results with me and told me that his delays weren't too bad and that his fine motor skills appeared only a few months behind. She told me that she kept switching the crayons because somethings children will grasp the broken ones better because they are smaller and thus helping their fine motor skills with drawing. So she suggested that we get some crayons and have some broken ones as well as whole ones for him to use. Now that created a problem for me. If you know me well enough you know that I like things that aren't broken, things that are useful whole. But this therapist suggested I break perfectly good crayons.

So tonight we got a few things at Walmart to get some stuff set up for Seth and I bought a box to put the broken crayons in. I came home fixed his bulletin board and then got the crayons. As I sat there on the floor and I started breaking them, I kept thinking what a waste to take a perfectly good crayon and break it in half. But I also remembered the therapist telling me how smaller broken crayons would help Seth write better, so I broke them. Then it struck me. Doesn't God work the same way? Aren't we all broken? And once we are broken doesn't he find use and purpose for us, even in our broken state? Hmmmmmm what an idea. The God of the universe uses broken things to carry out His plan. Go figure. Then this same God sent his perfect whole son to our world, to live and then to be BROKEN for us so that one day we would be made whole again.

Now I can't go back and fix those crayons, but I know even in their broken state they will be useful. Do you think maybe we should try and look at ourselves in that way? In God's hand, our brokeness is useful to Him.

Train up a child...

How many of us have heard that scripture quoted a blue million times. I grew up hearing it and I grew into parenthood thinking that meant...make those kids mind at all costs and when they get older the will not forget what they learned. I thought that until today. Allow me to explain.

Today was another Autism makes me crazy day. Seth's fits and tantrums were off the charts. He started when he woke up this morning and he fought until the bitter end of bedtime. Joe and I had lost our minds today. We were at our wits end. We've fought the "system" this week trying so hard to get Seth into therapies that he needs and being stonewalled by Medicaid. I still firmly believe that Emma Claire at 2 could run Medicaid better... but anyhow our week ended with this explosive Sunday. Firework displays had nothing on this afternoon!

So home from a brief church time and having 2 of the three children settled in bed (Emma Claire seems to be wired for night time!) and I picked up a book that I had found in the last few weeks. "Finding your Child's Way on the Autism Spectrum" by Dr. Laura Hendrickson. I know that I bought this book by title and had yet to crack the cover, but tonight in my desperation I picked it up. I was looking for magic words and "the right way" to parent a child on the Spectrum, easy answers that don't really exsist, but finding words of God that do work.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go (and in keeping with his individual gift or bent) and when he is old he will not depart from it. Amplified Bible.

Here's what caught me...."in keeping with his individual gift or bent."

Here it is folks....this isn't a line to walk, this isn't a sure fire do everything the same for every child command. This is keeping with that child's natural way. The natural way God made him. The way God created him. So Seth's individual gift or bent happens to be Autism Spectrum disorder. Stay with me folks, I'm on a roll...God knew all of this before Seth was born, before Seth was placed in our home, and before Seth was even diagnosed with Autism. God knew it because God MADE HIM THIS WAY. I've never much cared why Seth had Autism, just how to deal with it. Maybe it was brain damage from birth, maybe a vaccine injury, who knows....GOD knows! And not only did God know and create Seth this way God knew where Seth was going to live and who his parents were going to be and what Seth's life was going to become.

In keeping with his individual bent I have to find the road less traveled. There are scads of parenting books, if I have questions on how to parent a neurotypical child I have a vast assortment of resources, including friends and family, but since every child on the specturm is different I don't have that available to me for Seth. We have to forge ahead and find the path that works for his individual gift or bent.

So we've reached a fork in the road and we have a choice to make. Do we try and parent Seth and force him into a neurotypical mold or do we do as Proverbs says and Train him up in the way he should go in keeping with his individual gift or bent? I think you know my answer. Hang in there with me emerging from this chaos isn't going to be easy, and many times not too pretty (reference for those of you that watched me melt down like ice cream on a hot sidewalk today at church) I don't have a roadmap that says which way to go. But I do have a better understanding of how to parent my God designed, God created, God given son, who happens to have Autism.

Keeping Score

If I were keeping score I would say today that Autism got a point today, but we got two points. So for today we are ahead! I'll take it a day at a time. So allow me to elaborate. Seth's tanturms are getting worse and more frequent. The good news is he does know he is wrong. So after they are done he does feel remorse. That's a huge leap forward. We went to the family doc today and got some help. On Friday Seth will start Speech Therapy. Now let me tell you the amazing part...most places that offter Speech Therapy have long waiting lists, but we were able to get an appointment to begin on FRIDAY! Praise the Lord for that!

Tomorrow he has another thearpy session here at home and hopefully we are going to work on behavior plans for when he does have a tantrum.

There is a plan. But beyond the plan of the therapists, and doctors and anyone else involved with Seth God has a plan. Autism doesn't scare Him...so I'm working to not let it scare me.

I've decided to start keeping track of "Sethisms." Those quirky little things that pop out of his brain when we least expect it. Today's Sethism....at lunch we were in line waiting to order and Seth kept looking into Mack's ear. (One thing to know about Seth is he is facinated with holes, he wants to know where they go...any hole...he needs to know. So we were in line and Seth was looking in Mack's ear and I told him to stop and leave Mack alone. Without blinking Seth looked at me and said "but I am the doctor." There ya go. Welcome to the autistic brain. There is logic there, too bad we don't know what it is!

Ok, one more Sethism. Yesterday I was getting drinks ready after lunch. Emma Claire does not like water but she loves H2O. I know it's a game but she drinks the water. So I handed her a sippy cup and said to her "here's your H2O Emma Claire" and Seth looked at me and just started giggling, looked at me from the corner of his eye and said "H2O" and giggled more. Seth knows our game! He knows that H2O is water and that we are fooling Emma Claire! I guess it's good for us that Seth likes water!

So it's been a long day, and today we won. Tomorrow, well only God knows, but in the end I know the ultimate winner....I've read the back of the Book!

I am NOT crazy!

So today was "solve the Autism issue Day". While we didn't solve autism or cure it we sure did get a ton of great info and we were pointed in a better direction today. THANK YOU EASTERSEALS CROSSROADS! God placed a woman in my path today that I so needed to meet. She has a son who is autistic and two other children who are not. She has walked in my shoes! She knows what I am dealing with and what our family is dealing with. I am not crazy. My thinking about Seth's brain is not off. He gets it..he gets all of it. He just can't always get it all back out. His tantrums are not bad behavior but frustration that we don't live in his world and follow his rules. I was able to talk with her for about 45 minutes and she gave me great insite and great advice! It was fabulous. She left me with her office number and told me to contact her anytime with questions or concerns of even if I just needed to vent! It's amazing!

After leaving Easterseals, we traveled to Greenfield. We were able to get Seth on the waiting list at Edelwiss Equine Therapy Center. Hopefully he will be able to get involved with them in July and really start making some progress.

After that trip we were able to get some books that had been recommended and then headed home. The kids were amazing! They were well behaved and patient and made this all day venture easy to do! I praise God for the day and that we were able to learn so much and hopefully get Seth on the right path.

I haven't felt this settled since Seth was diagnosed. I'm glad we had such a great day. I only wish I had a tape recorder when she told me I'm not crazy...I know some of you need proof!

Tantrums, Sunday and a Breakthrough

So it's been awhile since I've posted but there has been a lot going on! I'll just say this. Autism is not for the weak or faint of heart! I'm beinning to see that I can no longer be weak and faint of heart if I'm going to be an awesome advocate and a great mom for Seth.

It's Sunday and we woke up late. We had exactly 60 minutes to get ready, eat breakfast and get in the van to head to church. A time cruch and Autism don't always go together. Breakfast went well, the kids got dressed and we were doing well, then it was time to put on Seth's shoes. Apparently there is an order to putting on his shoes. It's not an order that I know, but in Seth's mind I was doing it wrong. Now Seth can't tell me his special order, but he sure can let me know when I've done it wrong. So the shoes got on in the wrong order and the tantrum broke loose. He was screaming, crying and biting and hitting and kicking. I was dodging feet, arms, and teeth, all the while trying to remember that he really doesn't understand. I showed him his pictures to help him remember that we don't hit, or kick or bite...that only made it worse. He knows the rules. In his mind I'm the one that broke the rules by putting his shoes on wrong. So for the next 15 minutes we battled. I kept telling him to calm down, that I loved him and that I wasn't giving up and he battled. Then finally...it was done. Whew we made it through another one. We always stop after tantrums and make Seth tell us he's sorry. We know that mostly he is repeating what we say, but we've always known one day he will get it. TODAY was that day! After the tantrum and the hitting etc...he stopped, wiped his tears and hugged me and said "Sorry for hitting Mommy." Oh words that melt my heart! HE GETS IT! He knows it's wrong to hit. We made progress. We've had a breakthough! Then off to church. All went well until he started flipping light switches. I removed him from the situation and once again full battle mode. It was a good 20 minutes of tantrum. But once again he does understand. I keep telling him I'm not giving up I know there's a boy behind the tantrums and he hears me and somewhere in his brain he knows his Mommy and Daddy are going to move heaven and earth to get him what he needs so he can become all God has created him to be. My son has Autism...but we will not let Autism win!

A time to remember...

So here we are nine years later and it's just as awful now as it was then. Today is the nineth anniversary of my sister's death. So I'm taking some time to remember. It doesn't even seem real even nine years later...thought I know it is real. I miss her so much. Life was always crazy and in an uproar a lot when Gretchen was alive, but she was still my sister. I remember while planning my wedding how badly she wanted to sing "Friends" by Michael W. Smith. I kept telling her that wasn't a wedding song...she didn't care. And for the record...she didn't sing! I remember when we were kids and we got home from school and "cooked." We would put all kinds of stuff together just to see what it tasted like, and if it was really awful and ruined the pan we would just hide it outside in the big huge evergreen bush in the backyard. I remember going to Las Vegas a couple of months before I got married. We stayed in high style and had a great time. I remember our last trip together to San Diego. Spending a few days being together and having a great time like sisters do. I didn't know it then..but she was saying goodbye. I remember that phone call at 11:38 pm on June 1, 2000...the call that told me Gretchen had died. My world shattered, my life changed, and it will never be the same. We go on with life and we live it to the fullest...but we don't forget.

I miss you Gretchen Anne. There's so much you've missed and I hate that you're gone. I love you Sissy, and I'll never forget!

Just Rambling....

I have decided I hate Autism. I don't like what it does to families, and I don't like what it has done and is doing to my Seth. I know beyond any doubt that God has a bigger plan and His plan is bigger than Autism, but getting to that plan isn't going to be easy. I guess anything worth having isn't easy...but still I hate the process. There are so many questions that never seem to get answered. I don't know what is best, what type of therapy, what type of diet, what type of anything is best at this point. I love Seth, and I will do anything for him that I can. I just feel like I don't know where to begin. It's almost like I'm spinning and can't stop. It makes me dizzy thinking of all the things that we have to do and the things that have to be done for the future. I'm tired and not sure what is next. Again, I know that God hold our future and He has all the answers....I just need a few answers soon. Until then we wait, and pray and hope for the best. I still hate Autism...but I can't change it and I can't cure Seth, so I live with it.

A New Tradition....

I know two posts in one day...but this is worth remembering....
A new tradition for our family of race fans!

Step into my childhood...

Yesterday we took a drive over to Speedway. It's an insane tradition that we started when we moved away from Speedway years ago. I grew up in Speedway and the Indy 500 was a huge part of life. Every May it was an event. We parked cars for qualifications, my sister and I had a lemonade stand and it was a big deal. Then for race weekend we would have about 30 people come stay with us for the weekend. We had people in the house, and camping in the yard. We parked cars on race day and it was the best! We sat on the front porch and listened to the race (tv coverage is blocked out in Indy for the live broadcast) and after the race we went to Sizzler and came home and with everyone that had been to the race we watched the delayed broadcast. Ohhhh it was the best. People that would come stay with us had stayed with my grandparents when they owned the house...it was a month steeped in tradition! Before I moved to Florida I went to Speedway High School. I marched in the band around the 2 1/2 mile oval....it was not fun...but it was tradition! So off to Speedway we went...we drove through the crowd, down Georgetown Road, and up Crawfordsville Road....masses of people all for Indy.

After our foray into the madness we drove through Speedway on our way back home. We stopped at Leonard Park and ohhhh the memories. Gretchen and I used to come to the park all the time. It was a few blocks from the house but those were the days you walked anywhere. It's nice to see what has been done with the park. The baseball fields are the same...the vast expanse of park space is beautiful. The kids loved playing in the park. It was funny to see how much of the playground equipment is still there....30 years later! The merry go round, the Old Woman's Shoe, the monkey bars...and the big spiral slide. I remember when that was put in the park. It was fun taking my kids there and letting them see and play where mommy did! They had a ball! It was good to step back into time for just a little bit and remember when life was simpler. I miss Speedway and Leonard Park...and I miss being in the middle of the excitement of May. It's always nice to walk down memory lane!

We let the kids play for a bit and we weren't surprised to find that Seth loved the merry go round! The faster the better. Some children with Autism and Sensory Processing Disorders love spinning. And if I could I would have one of these installed in my backyard! Take a look!



Spin Seth Spin!!!!!


Seth at Leonard Park!

Tuesday of Praise

Today, as always, I'm grateful for new beginnings. Working at the high school I'm watching as the Seniors I know prepare for a new beginning. On Friday they will graduate and no longer be high school students. They will be adults. They will have a new beginning. A new chance to change the direction of their lives.

Isn't it amazing to know that each day God offers us a new beginning. He makes all things new. Each time we ask Him He makes us new. Good days, bad days, in between days, days that I just don't know what to do He is in control and willing to make things new.

Praise God for new beginnings!

Congratulations to the Class of 2009
May this be a fabulous new beginning for each one of you!

A Good Day!

Today has been a fabulous day! The kids were happy, the husband was happy and I was happy. Life is good! We had a great day today. Seth had a great day today. It's days like this that I wonder..Does he really have Autism? I know that he does. I know it is real, but days like today give me a glimpse of the little boy that is really in there. The little boy that doesn't have Autism, the little boy that doesn't struggle with communication, the little boy that is right on target with all other four year olds. But that is just today. I cherish these days. I cherish the times when there isn't a battle for everything and when we all just have a good day! Praise God for this good day!

Friday we saw Dr. Escobar at St. Vincent Children's Hospital. He gave us a lot of information and did confirm what everyone has said. Seth has Autism. Dr. Escobar recommended ABA therapy, and major behavioral modification. It's funny how God gives us a child that needs total consistency when Joe and I aren't known for consistency. My statement is proven right now as I type because Emma-Claire is in here in bed with us instead of her own bed. She will go back to her room to sleep....but she is here now. Not very consistent! So back to Seth. We are looking into different programs and will make decisions from there. We alrady have Daymar working with us and we are just doing more research. Seth also had blood work done to make sure there are no genetic conditions that would cause the Autism. Seth was such a big boy when he had his blood drawn. He just sat and watched the movie and only cried once! I was so proud!

So now we begin to figure out what direction we go in for Seth...and pray for more good days!

Evaluation Day!

So today Daymar was out to evaluate Seth. She was observed him and agreed with the inital diagnosis. We are being told that his autism is mild to moderate. At this point we still don't know totally what that means. It does mean this...his tanturms are normal and for the most part related to Autism. The hitting and kicking and screaming that he does at time is also related to Autism. I told the counserlor today that we accept that he has Autism but I never want Autism to be an excuse. There will be times when it is a reason, but NEVER an excuse. She was behind that thinking 100%. She will be back in two weeks and we will begin weekly therapy. We are going to implement a picture commincation board and a picture schedule to get going with summer. She also did a sensory evaulation and found that in several areas he has sensory processing issues. So we will also begin work on that too. It's still overwhelming. We still aren't sure what to do most of the time, but we have a plan, and we have help! Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Our prayer is that we always do what is best for Seth and what will allow him to have a typical childhood and grow into a typical life.

Also pray for this family. I watched their story today and so many flashabacks of Seth's situation. I am so grateful that things worked out for Seth the way they did! God answers prayer. Please pray for this family and the little girl.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/#30741951

How could I ask for more?

It's Tuesday and in the tradition started by a fellow blogger and aquaintance Cari, it's Tuesday of Praise.

I sing an old song of Cindy Morgan's called "How Could I Ask for More?" I've added the lyrics so you can see where my heart is today. I'm thankful for the big things in life that God does for me, but I never want to forget the small things. Some of these things may seem insignficant, but isn't it the little things in life that really make us happy?

Lyrics:
There's nothing like the warmth of a summer afternoon
Waking to the sunlight, and being cradled by the moon
Catching fireflies at night
Building castles in the sand
Kissing Mama's face goodnight
Holding Daddy's hand
Thank you Lord, how could I ask for more

Running barefoot through the grass
A little hide and go seek
Being so in love, that you can hardly eat
Dancing in the dark, when there's no one else around
Being bundled 'neath the covers, watching snow
Fall to the ground
Thank you Lord, how could I ask for more

So many things I thought would bring me happiness
Some dreams that are realities today
Such an irony the things that mean the most to me
Are the memories that I've made along the way

So if there's anything I've learned
From this journey I am on
Simple truths will keep you going
Simple love will keep you strong
Cause there are questions without answers
Flames that never die
Heartaches we go through are often blessings in disguise
So thank you Lord, oh thank you Lord
How could I ask for more

Thank you Lord for the simple things in life. Please help me to remember the simple things in my life and always praise you for all that You do for me. In Jesus Name, Amen

It's AMAZING!

Attention all internet people....Breaking News!
My husband just brought a basket of whites into the bedroom, dumped it on the bed and began FOLDING it!
We now join our regularly scheduled program!

Manic Monday!

It's just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'Cause that's my funday
An I-don't-have-to-run day
It's just another manic Monday
----The Bangles

Ahhhh remember the 80's! I loved this song. I still sing it in my head somedays, like today! Work was crazy today and then got home and the kids were crazy today. It's just another manic Monday.

These are the days I don't think I can do this. These are the days when I look at my house and see all the things I don't keep up on. Sorry June Cleaver I can't compete. The laundry is piling up, again. The dust bunnies are building bunny hutches, and toys are everywhere. These are just gentle (ok not so gentle) reminders of how human I really am. I should be up working, toiling away getting things done, but here I sit, blogging and watching the season finale of House. All the kids are still awake, apparently bedtime means NOTHING to them today and Emma Claire has pulled her hair out of its braids. Oh it's just another manic Monday.

I wish children came with instructions. I wish they had little pop up signs..."mommy do this and I will go to sleep" mommy do that and I will stop screaming." But alas, they don't come with pop up buttons or instructions. I just feels like I can't do this. How do I get things done? How do I find time to work and take care of the kids and the house and the laundry and so on and so on.

Funny thing is the child that is supposed to give me the most trouble is the one that in some ways DOES come with instructions. I know what to do when Seth throws a screaming, kicking, hitting fit in public. I know what to do when Seth hums and rocks. I have professional people that have helped me and will continue to help me deal with Seth's issues. While I feel overwhelmed by some of the stuff, so far I'm doing okay with Autism. I have a list of questions for the Daymar staff that is coming this week...I'm prepared and waiting for these upcoming appointments. Now if I can get everything else lined up!

I guess for now I take it a day at a time, and know that in 10 days schools out and I have all summer to do laundry! It's just another manic Monday!

Tuesday of Praise

"This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!"
Psalm 118:24

I've been sick since Sunday. Yet another sinus infection. I'm over being sick. I have way too much to do to be stuck in bed sick. I have three small children...that means I have no time to be sick! But today is Tuesday...and it's a day dedicated to praise.

I praise God today for my children. Years ago when Joe and I were going through infertility our pastor said to me that he really believed that God was going to bless us with many children, but they wouldn't be our own biological children. I have to admit I thought he was a bit crazy at the time...but God knew better. God has blessed me with three beautiful unique and amazing children. And ya know what?...not one of them is our child biologically! I praise Him because he knew all those years ago what His plan was and while I thought I'd never be a mom He knew better! I am blessed and God has given me three wonderful reasons to praise Him every day! Thank you God for Seth, Emma Claire and Mack!

The weekend

Well, it's Saturday night and it's Heather time. Food TV is on and I'm online and the rest of the house is quiet! I love it.

It's been a long day today. It always seems weekends are crazy. We never seem to be home and when we are home it's craziness. This weekend I have crossed over to the dark side of parenting...we bought a DVD player for the van. Now don't get me wrong I don't have anything against DVD players...I just always said "my children will ride in the car and not need to be entertained by a DVD." The along came MY children! Seth loves it and it does keep him quiet and there's no screaming from Mack as we travel along. So for me it's crossing to the darkside...but I will now admit that MY children do better in the van being entertained by a DVD!

We are looking forward to May 14th, that is when Daymar comes to evaluate Seth and tell us where he falls on the Autism spectrum and what therapies and such he will need to have. Is it the 14th yet???? LOL I feel like I need some solid direction so we can do what is best for Seth. There is a ton of information out there and it can be hard to decipher what is good information and what isn't. ANd I'm hoping that once we have some solid direction we will see some progress. I'm not expecting major milestones, but baby steps would be good! I want to understand Autism so much, but I'm beginning to think that's impossible, which is why they call Autism a puzzle. There is no child with Autism the same as another child with Autism.

I'm off for now...must be up early for Sunday School. Enjoy your Sunday and Praise God for his goodness and mercy.

Mack is adopted!

Today was a great day. Mack is offically adopted and forever part of our family! Praise the Lord.

Sadly, my mother in law fell and broke her hip walking to the courthouse.

That's all for tonight....

Big day tomorrow!

It's only hours until Mack will offically be adopted! He's been with us since we brought him home from the hospital and now he will legally be our son! Praise God! This will be our second adoption, and the last one will be Seth. Soon our family will be legally complete...although we are a complete family now. I'll have pictures to share tomorrow of our new son! God is good!

Tuesday....Praise Day!

So I woke up this morning with S in bed with me. He crawls in here when Joe leaves in the morning. We woke up early. I mean how do you sleep with a four year old kneeling beside you pulling your eyelid open and saying "wake up mommy, wake up!" So we were awake and I told S that today was Tuesday was Praise Day. We started our day with a praise prayer and S kept saying over and over Praise Him Day! Awesome! So I got the kid
s ready and we headed off for our day. I would have said a praise prayer with Emma, but she was still sound asleep, even through the dressing process and being placed in the van!

I got to work....and that was that. It wasn't the best day ever and it seemed I was on edge most of the day. But everytime I stopped I whispered a prayer of praise, and the day went on. It was a good day, but I truly felt the devil trying to pull me away, trying to test me, and trying to make me forget my promise of the day. I am grateful that God is greater than the devil. I'm redeemed because God is greater than the devil. And I praise Him because He is awesome and powerful and all knowing and my God!

Come and let us make His praise glorious!

Join the challenge

Another blogger has posted on her blog site a challenge to us all. Let's make Tuesday a day of praise! We all have great things in our life to praise Him about...so join me and Cari (the other blogger friend) in this challenge! Let's PRAISE HIM!

So it's been almost a week since we got the official diagonosis of S. Things are different. My mind never seems to stop thinking about things. I wonder why, and what's going to happen, and I wonder if I can handle this and if my other two children are getting short changed because they will have to learn as they get older that S faces challenges that they don't. I'm afraid life is going to seem unfair to them because S has some behaviors that they KNOW they would get in trouble for doing.....but S doesn't. It's going to be a challenge to expalin that. Don't get me wrong Autism is NOT going to be an excuse for bad behavior....but sometimes it's a reason for behavior that seems out of control.

But with everything that has been going through my mind this past week here is what i know for sure.

1. S has Autism.
2. God knew it.
3. God has a plan.
4. And for some reason, God chose Joe and me to be the parents of this sweet boy. So apparently God knows we are up for it!

Remember to join me tomorrow for a day of praise.

"Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise Him above ye heavenly host
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen"
-The Doxology

Good things....

I've been thinking a lot today about S and what is coming up with him, and how we will be facing a lot of people telling us what he can't do. So I've decided to journal or blog about things he CAN do! So here's the list....
S can climb stairs or about anything like nobody! He loves being up!
S loves to laugh and when he really gets tickled it's so funny to hear him get caught in his laughter.
S loves fruit....any kind really....but loves it! He will eat fruit over anything...anytime, anywhere!
S loves to carry stuff in his hands. It amazes me over and over how much stuff he can pack into his two hands!
S loves to run
S loves to sing
S loves hugs and kisses, and likes to cuddle with Daddy on Sat morning to watch cartoons...and boy does he love his cartoons!

There are so many things about him that make him so special...these are just a few. It's nice to write them down and save them for days when it seems like all we hear is negative. And can I just tell you that giggle is soooooo special!

Parent's Night Out

What a great night we had. We went to dinner at Red Lobster and we had no sippy cups, no tantrums, no flying dishes. It was just Joe and me enjoying a dinner out together. NICE!

I'm so grateful for people who have a calling to work with special needs children. I'm grateful because it gives my husband and I time to be together and gives us a break from the routine and sometimes the chaos. To those special people that love my children and play with them a few hours a month and give us a chance to be adults THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! You know who you are!

It's supposed to be a beautiful weekend here in Indy, nice warm weather and sunny days....I'm hoping that the kids can get some play time in the newly fenced yard! Run all that pent up energy out and have a great time!

We have our church picnic Sunday and I'm excited about that. I should have some pictures to post after that!

Day 2

So this is day 2 after the diagnosis. I am overwhelmed. I'm sad, and I'm a bit angry.

I'm overwhelmed with all the information out there. Do a Google search for Autism and you get about 17,000 pages...yes that's right 17,000! Do this do that...don't do this don't do that. What's right, what's wrong. This therapy, that therapy what is the best thing to do for my child? Everyone has an answer and everyone has an opinion and yet no one has the final piece to solve this puzzle. I'm praying for the right people to be brought into our lives to help with this...to test S, to recommend therapy and diet and all those questions that the word Autism produces.

I'm sad. I'm sad for S. I'm sad that in this life he may have difficulty fitting in. I'm sad that he may not always understand everything that is going on. I'm sad that other people may think less of him because he has Autism.

And I'm a bit angry. Why S? After all he has gone through in his short life why this too? I'm angry when we are out somewhere and S has a temper tantrum and people don't understand why I can't control him. I want people to understand and yet I'm not sure I understand enough to explain it.

In all of this I am still hopeful. I see there is a help, there are people who understand, and we are just getting into the world of Autism. I know we serve a God that is bigger than Autism and no matter what happens He has us in the palm of His hand. In all of this I do know that this is God's plan. This diagnosis of Autism doesn't shock Him...he knew this was going to happen. He knew where S would be and who he would be with...and in His wisdom gave us this sweet, loving, kind adoreable boy....who just happens to have Autism.

The Diagnosis

Well today it happened. After three and a half years we got the "official" diagnosis for S. He has Autism. This is not a big shock to us...we've lived with him for 3 1/2 years...we know him...we see the signs and symptoms and we knew what they would say. S has Autism. So now what? Well now S will get services and therapy that he has needed for quite some time because now we have the diagnosis. He will also be tested at Riley Children's Hospital to find how severe the Autism is. We love this little guy....he came into our lives when he was 14 months old and he is our son. Now we know he has Autism.

I think I'm up for the challenge. I know God has this in control and on days when I'm not up for the challenge He will give me strength to face the day.

I keep thinking of David Ring, an evangelist with Cerebral Palsy....he used to say "I have Cerebral Palsy...so what's your problem?" His point being that NO ONE is perfect so S can now say "I have Autism...so what's your problem?"