Train up a child...

How many of us have heard that scripture quoted a blue million times. I grew up hearing it and I grew into parenthood thinking that meant...make those kids mind at all costs and when they get older the will not forget what they learned. I thought that until today. Allow me to explain.

Today was another Autism makes me crazy day. Seth's fits and tantrums were off the charts. He started when he woke up this morning and he fought until the bitter end of bedtime. Joe and I had lost our minds today. We were at our wits end. We've fought the "system" this week trying so hard to get Seth into therapies that he needs and being stonewalled by Medicaid. I still firmly believe that Emma Claire at 2 could run Medicaid better... but anyhow our week ended with this explosive Sunday. Firework displays had nothing on this afternoon!

So home from a brief church time and having 2 of the three children settled in bed (Emma Claire seems to be wired for night time!) and I picked up a book that I had found in the last few weeks. "Finding your Child's Way on the Autism Spectrum" by Dr. Laura Hendrickson. I know that I bought this book by title and had yet to crack the cover, but tonight in my desperation I picked it up. I was looking for magic words and "the right way" to parent a child on the Spectrum, easy answers that don't really exsist, but finding words of God that do work.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go (and in keeping with his individual gift or bent) and when he is old he will not depart from it. Amplified Bible.

Here's what caught me...."in keeping with his individual gift or bent."

Here it is folks....this isn't a line to walk, this isn't a sure fire do everything the same for every child command. This is keeping with that child's natural way. The natural way God made him. The way God created him. So Seth's individual gift or bent happens to be Autism Spectrum disorder. Stay with me folks, I'm on a roll...God knew all of this before Seth was born, before Seth was placed in our home, and before Seth was even diagnosed with Autism. God knew it because God MADE HIM THIS WAY. I've never much cared why Seth had Autism, just how to deal with it. Maybe it was brain damage from birth, maybe a vaccine injury, who knows....GOD knows! And not only did God know and create Seth this way God knew where Seth was going to live and who his parents were going to be and what Seth's life was going to become.

In keeping with his individual bent I have to find the road less traveled. There are scads of parenting books, if I have questions on how to parent a neurotypical child I have a vast assortment of resources, including friends and family, but since every child on the specturm is different I don't have that available to me for Seth. We have to forge ahead and find the path that works for his individual gift or bent.

So we've reached a fork in the road and we have a choice to make. Do we try and parent Seth and force him into a neurotypical mold or do we do as Proverbs says and Train him up in the way he should go in keeping with his individual gift or bent? I think you know my answer. Hang in there with me emerging from this chaos isn't going to be easy, and many times not too pretty (reference for those of you that watched me melt down like ice cream on a hot sidewalk today at church) I don't have a roadmap that says which way to go. But I do have a better understanding of how to parent my God designed, God created, God given son, who happens to have Autism.