Day 2

So this is day 2 after the diagnosis. I am overwhelmed. I'm sad, and I'm a bit angry.

I'm overwhelmed with all the information out there. Do a Google search for Autism and you get about 17,000 pages...yes that's right 17,000! Do this do that...don't do this don't do that. What's right, what's wrong. This therapy, that therapy what is the best thing to do for my child? Everyone has an answer and everyone has an opinion and yet no one has the final piece to solve this puzzle. I'm praying for the right people to be brought into our lives to help with this...to test S, to recommend therapy and diet and all those questions that the word Autism produces.

I'm sad. I'm sad for S. I'm sad that in this life he may have difficulty fitting in. I'm sad that he may not always understand everything that is going on. I'm sad that other people may think less of him because he has Autism.

And I'm a bit angry. Why S? After all he has gone through in his short life why this too? I'm angry when we are out somewhere and S has a temper tantrum and people don't understand why I can't control him. I want people to understand and yet I'm not sure I understand enough to explain it.

In all of this I am still hopeful. I see there is a help, there are people who understand, and we are just getting into the world of Autism. I know we serve a God that is bigger than Autism and no matter what happens He has us in the palm of His hand. In all of this I do know that this is God's plan. This diagnosis of Autism doesn't shock Him...he knew this was going to happen. He knew where S would be and who he would be with...and in His wisdom gave us this sweet, loving, kind adoreable boy....who just happens to have Autism.